Self-Esteem Psychology: The Psychology of Self-Esteem
Many people believe they suffer from “low self-esteem,” but what does this mean?
We have all heard the saying “self-esteem comes from doing esteemable acts.” However, we might have trouble keeping our promises to ourselves and/or others. We can be in the grip of addictions to substances, food, sex, “love,” guilt, anger, work, etc. that lead us to mistrust ourselves and to doubt our capacity for change. “Self-esteem” is a rather general concept that has multiple components.
Dr. Fuller assists those with self-esteem problems to identify the most relevant components in their particular case and begin changing them.
Most of us know what we need to do: the problem usually is that we seem to be unable to take the necessary actions. An integral part of Dr. Fuller’s approach to change is to identify the “blocks” to taking corrective action, e.g., addiction, trauma, negative core beliefs (“I’m unworthy,” “I can’t succeed,” “I’m unlovable,” “I don’t deserve…”) and use various methods to release these “blocks,” especially through the use of cognitive-behavioral therapy and energy psychology.
Self-esteem is developed largely through interactions with important others, especially parents, siblings, peers, teachers, mentors, children, employers and romantic partners. As we mature, self-esteem hopefully becomes anchored more from an internal compass, a sense of whether or not we are aligned with our true purpose, and whether or not we are living according to our values. This requires a certain degree of self-awareness so that one can be aligned body, mind (conscious and unconscious!) and soul.
Many people have unresolved painful and/or traumatic experiences in their pasts which are inconsistent with one’s intentions and higher self. Dr. Fuller helps to illuminate these blind spots so that clients can release and transcend their pasts in order to live more successfully in the emerging moment.
As the obstacles are removed, Dr. Fuller helps clients:
- Understand and utilize their strengths to increase motivation
- Improve mood
- Enhance the quality of relationships
- Increase abundance and prosperity
Self-care naturally improves, as does one’s confidence in being able to address the challenges that occur in life.
The Consequences of Low Self-Esteem
- Anxiety, low tolerance for stress, feelings of loneliness, and increased risk for depression
- Relationship problems
- Sexual dysfunction
- Impairment in academic and job performance
- Increased risk for drug and alcohol abuse
- Suppressed immune response and increased vulnerability to illness
People with Low Self-Esteem
Often rely on the opinions of others or compare themselves with others to determine their sense of worth. This results in “roller coaster” self-esteem and ultimately a sense of futility or even depression.
Is based on our ability to assess ourselves and still be able to accept and to value ourselves unconditionally. This means being able to realistically acknowledge our strengths and limitations while simultaneously accepting ourselves as worthy and worthwhile without conditions or reservations. Being human is a challenge, and many of us are far too hard on ourselves.
Seek Guidance from a Therapist or Counselor
Sometimes low self-esteem can feel so painful or be so difficult to overcome that professional help is needed. Talking to a professional therapist is a good way to understand your blind spots and to improve your self-esteem. Dr. Fuller has the experience and training to help you reach the healthy level of self-esteem that you deserve.
Things You Can Do Now to Raise Your Self-Esteem:
- Pay attention to your own needs and wants.
- Take very good care of yourself.
- Eat healthy foods and avoid junk foods.
- Exercise. Arrange a time every day or as often as possible when you can get some exercise.
- Do personal hygiene tasks that make you feel better about yourself.
- Take time to do things you enjoy everyday.
- Get something done that you have been putting off.
- Do things that make use of your own special talents and abilities.
- Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.
- Give yourself rewards.
- Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself-people who treat you well. Avoid people who treat you badly.
- Make your living space a place that honors the person you are. Display items that you find attractive or that remind you of your achievements or of special times or people in your life.
- Make your meals a special time. If you eat with others, encourage discussion of pleasant topics. Avoid discussing difficult issues at meals.
- Take advantage of opportunities to learn something new or improve your skills.
- Begin doing those things that you know will make you feel better about yourself – like eating more healthily, deciding to exercise daily, or reducing clutter.
- Do something nice for another person. Smile at someone who looks sad. Say a few kind words to the check-out cashier. Help your spouse with an unpleasant chore. Take a meal to a friend who is sick. Send a card to an acquaintance. Volunteer for a worthy organization.
- Make it a point to treat yourself well every day. Before you go to bed each night, write about how you treated yourself well during the day.
From the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Full Text